Sunday, November 3, 2013

Daily diary of events Oct 15th-29th

Tuesday, October 15, 2013... in the morning

It's official... we announced the job on Facebook and I blogged about the sense of being completely overwhelmed by the task of leaving.  With three weeks to basically pack up the house before we leave, it's a task that is too big for us alone.

October 15... evening

We have a small group with our church, and we meet on Tuesday nights.  The wonderful ladies in our group helped me organize my scrambled brain.  I just couldn't comprehend what to ask help for.  Everyone was asking what I needed, but it was like trying to condense a college course into a sentence or two while dancing on my head in the middle of a circus on fire! My head was spinning & I was not only overwhelmed by the task, but fighting the reality of needing so much help in order to make it.  The girls calmed me on both accounts like only friends can do.  Andy & I were talking about the difference between those who do nice things because it's the right thing to do and those who truly love (like) us.  The difference is so evident and makes me think about the times I do nice things out of obligation and not love.  hmmmm.... sounds like something I've read in the Bible.  Acting in any way without love is a total waste of time.  I'm feeling the condemnation pointing inward as much, if not more, than I've seen it in others.

Wednesday, October 16

The Wourms and the Stepics show up on the first night to get us going.  There's so much to be done and we desperately needed to get started, but never could've done it without help.  The boys cleared out some furniture and a load to be donated just as Matthew and Amanda Robertson (due the day before I'm scheduled to have baby) show up with some big boxes and exchange them for a load to be donated!  The girls started to tackle the kitchen.

Thursday, October 17

Molly came out and helped us clear out the biggest, worst closet!  We went through ninety percent of it and Molly loaded her car with donations!  I had a few leads on help for Abby as I needed to hire a person or two to help once Andy was gone, but they all fell through in a matter of hours.  I was panicking.  Heidi (pca) & I were visiting as Abby napped (making me cry b/c she's so sweet) as she told me she had decided to hold off on finding another job so she could help us more the next two months!  HUGE answer to prayer!

Friday, October 18

Abby is on a new med that seems to be helping, but she's stopped drinking... almost entirely, so we got a bunch of apples a couple weeks ago to make applesauce.  Not on the top of my list of things to do right now but really a big deal.  I got a call from one of my best friend's mom who asked if I wanted her to come out and help with the applesauce... crazy, right?  We canned 20qts of applesauce.  Judi left and as I sat down, the Tanners pulled up to visit and haul some of the box/crate clutter to the garage.  Tony & Shelley Sheff pulled in just as I was finishing dinner.  They cleared out over thirty boxes and three shelves!

Saturday, Oct 19

Saturday turned out to be a day of girlfriends!  It began with help from a new friend.  I met Therese Gruba at a vendor show when we realized our daughters were friends via a homeschool choir they were both a part of.  Belle has talked about her daughter, but I had no idea the sweet gal I just met was the mother of the child's birthday party Belle was invited to.  Funny connections in such a small town.  Belle isn't doing choir this year, but through my sister Therese asked how we were and actually came over to help when she found out the chaos we are embarking on :)  My sister came a bit later and our dear friend, Krista tackled my room.  I needed friends to go through such a personal space.  I needed someone to laugh with me at the stuff they found and give me permission to through some stuff I was hanging on to.  We were able to do a lot of purging and some packing at the same time.  We've spent so much time packing and have accomplished so much, yet it's hard to see it at this point!

Sunday, Oct 20

I was wiped out after a busy Saturday and desperately in need of a day off.  This was my first Sunday in church after finding out we are moving.  I couldn't make it last week as it was my "weekend of tears" and I couldn't bare to sit by my husband who needed to be congratulated on his new job and sob uncontrollably.  My dear friend, Danielle, showed up shortly after Andy and the girls left to provide a shoulder to cry on.  I tend to want to be left alone in my self pity, but it always ends better with a friend to share my tears.  Anyhoo... I made it through church.  There were tears but not a complete breakdown!
Monday, Oct 21
We've had at least one or two doctor appointments each week as I'm prego, Abby always has something, and I want to get ahead so I don't end up in a new place with all these appointments lingering as I need to find new docs.  I'd like to buy some time if possible.  Today was a "doctoring" day. I came home exhausted as another friend, Shelby, dropped off dinner. It was a delicious & timely delivery! I feel like I'm drifting in a dream most days just getting from one day to the next. I feel so needy & blessed by all the help & all I have to say is "thank you"... It seems sooo inadequate. 

Tuesday, Oct 22

Our small group at church came over to help us pack.  It was an overwhelming night as these people we've grown to care so much about, gathered to serve us as we left.  Andy and the boys loaded a trailer to be donated and the girls packed boxes.  The mess piles up around us.  I know it will pass but it's driving me a bit nuts!  We have a new pca that came by to visit and see if she felt comfortable filling in the next two months.  I've been trying to add a safety net pca in case someone gets sick or something.  We had a sweet gal come out tonight.  Hope it works out :)

Friday, Oct 25

I got a call today from a pca back-up who visited with us on Tuesday.  She doesn't want to work with Abby.  don't get me wrong, I do totally get it.  She's not easy.  I tell the girls that have been here awhile and like it that it's a gift.  They either love it or don't.  It's an amazing person who can come into someone else's home and take care of a 90+lb infant who goes from hugging to attacking constantly.  It's not easy.  Our girls are seriously amazing people.  In addition to taking care of Abby right now, they have to navigate a mess of a house, a pregnant mom and a dad that will be gone for the better part of the next two months.  They're willingly entering our crazy world.  There aren't words for what they give to our family.  With that said, I get not wanting to come into this right now, but it's was still a tough blow.  I freaked out as soon as I hung up the phone and texted my girls to see if we could put together the Nov/Dec schedule so I could estimate the holes we'd have to fill.  I'd rather see it all in black and white and deal with it.  Within half an hour I was crying as the girls almost completely filled up the schedule.  We still have a few days to work out, but I got texts to fill in whenever they were needed.  As if it wasn't enough that Heidi is holding off on finding a full time job to help us out, she's willing to fill in the gaps as needed.  See, We have two gals that work other full time jobs and a full time student.  They're awesome but their schedules are set.  They just can't come in case of emergency during certain hours (they've come at late ones).  

I spent the better part of this day on the big chair resting and trying to figure out schedules.  Andy decided to take the girls on a date much to my content as I got to have a quiet night with Heidi putting Abby to bed and hanging out with her and Danielle who came by for a visit.  I have serious withdrawals when I don't see the girls for awhile.  Danielle has been with us since MaryAlice was a baby.  She works at least full time over the summer, so when she went to work in the school system as a special ed teacher it was "yucky" not talking to her every day!  Lovely ending to a tough beginning of a day.  
Once again, the Lord provides. 
 I still worried.
 I'm a work in progress...
don't claim to be any more 

Saturday, Oct 26

My Aunt DeeDee comes today!  She's a machine when it comes to getting things done.  She plows through rooms and gets so much accomplished.  Love her!  Mom joined us a bit later and the three of us sent the girls away to watch a movie (so my little "dumpster diver" didn't cry over everything we packed or trashed).  We got two rooms completely packed up to my satisfaction for the next two months.  The hallway got cleared and the large storage closet, along with most of the biggest pictures, got put away.  Steve Gorghuber came for a bit and helped Andy take down a couple shelving units and a table.  By four I was contracting and needed to stop, but was able to finish the night with a quick vacuum through my room so the dust didn't kill me :)

Sunday, Oct 27

What a whirlwind!!! Today was Andy's last Sunday at our church, Rock Hill.  It hardly seems possible that we went from job hunting to his last Sunday in less than three weeks.  I've been so busy doing what needs to be done that there have only been short periods of tears.  I don't doubt the Lord is in this and He can make something beautiful out of the chaos I'm feeling, but the reality of each day can overtake me from time to time.

Our pastor left a message earlier in the week to see if Andy would share a bit about us leaving and let them pray for us as it was his last week at church.  Andy almost said no because he wasn't sure I could handle it. I do okay until someone asks how I'm doing.  What could be sweeter?  I know it is thoughtful and loving, but auto pilot it so much easier.  We went through with it because it was the right thing to do and who in their right mind refuses prayer and help, right?  I did cry, but I didn't sob uncontrollably.  My Belle reprimanded me three times for crying during Andy's sharing, but we made it out without a complete breakdown.
Belle has been "doing school" with MA... so sweet!

The girls are still really excited.  I think once Andy leaves the tough part will set in a bit. They love Daddy and will miss him a lot.  We came home to the Mirau's who were delivering dinner to share with us.  What a blessing to be fed and ministered to by such a wonderful couple.  We remarked on how short our friendship has been with them as we just started to get together this past spring.  I've known them since I was a kid, but they've recently come to our church and we've been blessed immensely by them.  They are one of the couples that came into our lives and played such an encouraging role for a particular time and place... for a short season.  God knew what we needed and He provided.  He really used them to speak some truth into our lives and help us move on to what the Lord had ahead for us.
Monday, Oct 28
If you came on Tuesday, you'll get a kick out if this... Aaron Johnson offered to come help tonight, but Andy wasn't sure if there was stuff they could do!  His optimism sure balances my "realism" (sounds better than pessimism, right?).  I offered to make a list for them to tackle & thankfully Aaron did come & they got several bigger things done!  Once again, there is so much to be done that just having someone here to help has been a godsend to keep us moving forward. There have been days where I just want to sit & sulk instead of just biting off a small chunk from the endless list that seems impossible, but when someone comes we're energized once again. Funny how that works!

Tuesday, Oct 29

Today was a big packing day!  My Aunts, DeeDee & Marcia, spent the day filling boxes so there would be plenty to do tonight when we had our city group and the Trenz's over to help haul all the heavy stuff into the garage.  Cabinets were emptied, crates and boxes filled,, shelves wrapped and a bed frame all waiting to be hauled out.  I worked with my aunts until around three when I started to hit a wall and had to pause for a rest.  We had accomplished so much and were ready for a crew that night to haul it all out, but I was contracting and in need of not moving which was a tough task as I didn't like to sit and watch as others worked.  It became easier as our house filled with friends and several people I hadn't even met before.  I was so overwhelmed by their kindness and willingness to help someone they didn't even know.  I soon perched myself on my bed and gave in to all the helped that buzzed around me.
Abby wasn't so happy with all the commotion.  Danielle came to help pack for the 2nd or 3rd time and has ended up calming Abby instead :)  


My dear friend, Janelle, noticed I was having a hard time and came to give me a back rub.  Then sweet Jami asked how I was doing and there were tears.  I guess I've been so busy making this all happen that it just began sinking in as my house emptied of our belongings.  I've been so focused on the job at hand knowing I needed this done before Andy left that I hadn't let myself feel the bare walls and emptied rooms.  How could I process being surrounded by my friends who were rallying the past two weeks to help me...
leave.  

Blessed... tears from a grateful heart... 







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