Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My Plate is Full... Lord, What Are You Doing?

Andy was offered a job in Florence, SC.  It's a good job with a stable company and a solid future.  It's an answer to prayer, but I can't stop crying.  It's the one job that actually called him and told him to apply in a state we hadn't even considered.  We had been looking for something in MN or GA by one of our families, but God decided to send us back to SC instead.  I was excited with the prospect of going back to where we lived before, but this location happens to be 2 1/2 hours away from Greenville with all our wonderful friends. Thus, this seems a lot like God and not our doing.  This helps me intellectually, but my heart is still hurting.
New place...
All new people...
The waterworks lasted solid for three days.  They've subsided from their continual basis, but I'm sure they will pop up from time to time.  I'm okay with sporadic, but this whole non-stop thing is just too much.

I say...  He says...

  • I cannot do this... "...I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me..." Is 46:9
  • This is too much... "My grace is sufficient for you" -2 Cor 12:9
  • I know you got the big story, but seriously how do I take care of newborn, a 98lb disabled child, & a 10 & 5 yr old after a c-section by myself?  ..."So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.  Matt 6:34
  • How much can we take before we just explode?  ..."When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Is 43:2 
  • How will we start over with so much help needed for Abby let alone three more girls?  All the new doctors, school & help? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." -Pr 3:5-6
  • Were we meant just to survive? "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,"  -Eph 3:20
  • What are you doing here? This seems crazy!  “Who is this that questions my wisdom 
    with such ignorant words" -
    Job 38
 I could keep going in this section, but seriously I could go on forever with my worries :)  Thus, this is a work in progress rather than something I'm lecturing on because I have it all together!  Some wise person once said that we must talk to ourselves more than listen to ourselves, so this is what I'm preaching to myself today... and tomorrow... and most likely the next day as well.  I find it comforting to know that He actually speaks to my problems... big or small.

So here is my second list of stuff that is just too big for me to handle.  I think it's always cool to see how prayers are answered... (I started this post a week or two ago).  The need is in normal type.  I'll update the answers to prayer & new challenges as we go.  

  1. We need a job with good benefits and a future. Andy was offered a good job with a solid company... PTL!
  2. We are concerned about care for Abby because there are only eighteen states that have extra medical for kids with disabilities along with PCA possibilities.  Some states have the medical, but fewer offer PCA.  We were looking in MN and GA because at the very least we know MN and GA we'd have family and friends to help, but God chose SC and to our surprise they have medical and PCA services... not our plan but obviously His.
  3. Andy needs a reasonable place to stay in Florence until we get there.  We'd prefer somewhere cheap :)
  4. He needs to find a place for the whole family to live temporarily or permanently by January.  
  5. The house needs to be purged and packed up into the garage ready to be loaded into a moving van when the time comes with only necessities for a couple of months left out... in the next three weeks.  
  6. I need to hire one or two more people this week to work with Abby until we go as I will not be capable of caring for a 95lb child after major surgery... let alone the weeks before.  
  7. The remodeling projects in the house need to be finished or at least patched up in order to put the house on the market once we're out.
  8. I'll need help with the baby for a week or two after Andy leaves until I heal up enough.
  9. The girls are going to be without their Dad for the better part of two months which often means extra chaos.  Like many things, I don't know what to do with this one but surely God does.
  10. Abby has been extra crazy.  We're trying new meds and seeing improvements but still need to figure this out ASAP as we've only had one day this week where we needed to double team her, but that one day is too much for me alone.
  11. I need to not overdue it and put myself in premature labor.  This baby needs to wait on Daddy to come back on the 21st :)  
  12. I have crohns/ulcerative colitis and stress can bring on flare ups.  Not okay during pregnancy.  I need to give all this over to God and not worry... supernatural... not within my power.
  13. Saying goodbye and leaving all my family and friends... I'd like to enjoy these months rather than spend my time lamenting and pouting.  I'd like for it to be an edifying time for me and those I love rather than just a black mark.  May we have grace to see the Lord's hand in our lives and rejoice in what He's doing more than the tears.  I know crying will be part of these times, but also praying they don't consume me.  
  14. We'll need help to unpack once we all arrive in Florence.  
A good friend also encouraged me to keep finding the positives and focusing on them... maybe the next post will be on gratitude during this season of distress...

Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real... quite appropriate :)

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