Monday, May 18, 2009

Do I trust you, Lord?

After the events of the past couple of weeks with Abby, I've had many ask about the effects of foster care on her... hmmm. If I hadn't felt the Lord's gentle nudge (okay, He might've needed to push me) I'd already have thrown in the towel, but I have to trust that He didn't forget we had Abby in our home, and He too has a purpose for her in this. His ways once again are higher than mine and I mustn't question Him when the waves start filling up the boat. I often think He allows us to be stretched when we are doing His will just to call us a little closer to Him. Doing foster care is a "God sized" undertaking in our lives. We operate with His help or we wouldn't operate at all. The days I walk with Him I walk tall, the days I try to do it on my own strength I barely crawl.

Do we put foster care on hold until Abby "normalizes"? Normal is never going to happen for her. I accepted that a few years back. Once this is ironed out (maybe tomorrow or maybe next year) there will be a new wrinkle. We have to also realize that we may live here with her. She may be stuck in this uncontrollable body for a long time, or she could pass through it shortly. There are no guarantees, no timelines. There are only guesses, but that is where we live. I laugh more and I cry more.

We focus on doing life regardless of Abby's status. Sometimes we need more caregivers and sometimes we are blessed to do it alone. We need people more during these times, and who knows if that is the point. We are hopeful with each new day. "Maybe tomorrow" keeps me together. What can we learn comes to mind (I figure the sooner we learn what He has for us in the midst the sooner it may end)? So we don't put our lives on hold, but we continue to pursue what the Lord has laid on our hearts trusting Him to not only be enough, but to fill us to overflowing as He meets these challenges... carrying us along the way.

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