Saturday, September 27, 2014

"I got saved"

She got baptized a few weeks later... once again... her idea... rather than my prodding :)
"I got saved"
These are the sweetest words a mama can hear from a child...
I was quietly nursing the baby when Belle uncharacteristically skipped into the room and texted this on my phone...
"I got saved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as she whispers, "Can I call Dad?"
my heart skipped a beat and I smiled big time (we have a pretty extensive non verbal communication thing going with a new baby). Honestly, I was a little surprised but I think I hid it pretty well.

WOW!  She actually went forward in an alter call her second week in Fuse (our BIG youth group).  This is my girl who doesn't like to stand out...
at all
She went forward... leaving her visiting cousin alone in her seat... that says something to me, yet...
I'm skeptical of alter calls
There... I said it.
I don't like a mass verbal prayer and I have many preconceived (my personal politically correct word for judgmental) ideas about alter calls after growing up in a church where I thought I had to go forward every week to "get right," "stay right" or something along those lines.
This single event challenged my beliefs on the subject.  I don't believe that simply saying a prayer "seals the deal"
It can start there
My girl has grown up with a lot of knowledge of God and who He is.  It started years ago. I've sat with her and led her in prayers, but I always left her wondering if it was real or if she just "repeated after me," saying what she knew to say rather than what she felt (my private alter call... HA!).  I've wondered if this was just the way it went with some kids? She's a compliant child in general, so we've never had big behavior changes or the evidence of fruit other than a general character building we aim to instill.  She's like me... a rule follower.  I'm an elder brother (metaphor from the prodigal son).  I didn't go crazy and squander my life like the prodigal son did.  I don't want her to do that either just to have a big conversion experience, but I don't want her to think it took less of Christ's blood to save her because she wasn't that bad either.
(I over think everything...)
This was the first time she felt the call... the Holy Spirit moved in her life and she responded.  This was the piece that has been missing... The spirit was moving in her heart, revealing her need of a Savior!  WOW... that's pretty awesome :)
I wanted to be the one who said that prayer with her.  I wanted to see the light go on and the eager heart seek our God for her life, but God had something different for her.
It turns out it wasn't about me... once again!
I was thrilled, but being the skeptic that I am, I had to interrogate her (gently... I'm not totally crazy).  I asked her what happened and why she felt the need to go forward.  I asked her if it was different than when she had prayed at home and why she felt the need to do it again.  Her response was exactly what I needed to hear.
"I had to"
"I wasn't saved, mom"
"I am now"
God never stops changing the way I see him.  Just when I think there should be one way to raise kids to see Jesus, He gives me another.  I'm grateful for this huge youth group where my girl hears the message and feels the call to apply it to her life.  My girl can have fun... a blast in fact... and still find God in a real and personal way.  
I always thought I'd release her to a select group of gals I had hand picked to be in her life (I was working on this), but instead I blindly place her in the most capable hands... my God's... because this life is so much bigger than me.  I am over my head with normal life here in Florence, let alone trying to get to know a hundred plus volunteers to control (that looks uglier on paper) who is in her life, so what do I do?
I trust
not because I'm super great and a spiritual giant of a mom, but...
because I've had to...
and what do I find?
Over and over and over again...
It turns out His ways actually are higher than mine... Again :)

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