Monday, December 3, 2012

Nancy Guthrie

Below is the link to the speech that was given by Nancy Guthrie at the God's design in disability conference.
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/thinking-like-jesus-about-disability


One book of many by Nancy Guthrie



I was so moved by the words of this mother who suffered so much with the death of two of her babies.  There was something so raw and real about her words that touched me from one mom's heart to another.  I initially had a bit of difficulty letting myself relate to this mom as her loss was so great and although I have miscarried, I do have three beautiful girls all living.  I suppose I didn't want to relate. 

For some reason there seems to be a need to compare pains on this side of Heaven.  It happens in all kinds of circles... especially in disability ones.  It's a weird paradox of needing to have someone who relates to my specific pain, yet wanting my particular pain to be so unique... Reality is...  it's probably not & rarely ever is...
That's hard to hear isn't it?  Especially when you've built your world around being different, unique.  "My kid is one in a million... no one can understand."  Sure, your kid is unique.  They all are, but then again... they're all much alike.  Your challenges are really not that special or isolated.  Many have come before you and many more will follow after you that share some, if not much of what you do.   Then why do we want to be so stinking special?  Why do we strive on one had to find someone like us and on the other to make sure no one can relate?  Do we want people to not be able to touch us?  Do our differences keep others at a safe distance?  They cannot chastise or challenge me because they don't occupy my skin?  Is it a safety wall of some sorts?  Or maybe we don't want a way out... or through?  Is Who we are, our complete identity, so wrapped up in our circumstances that we fear if someone else relates then my world isn't what I think it is?  Maybe it will be less real or somehow be changed or erased by it?   Not sure I know the answer, but it sure is an unusual reality.

 I'm usually the one chastising other moms for not coming to me with their troubles because they see my pains as more severe than theirs.  I find myself saying to them that the circumstances which brings us to our knees doesn't matter as much as the reality of the pains that get us there.  Just being in a state of having nothing left to give and feeling helpless in need of a big savior.  It's in that place where we are the same. Funny how I can say that, yet when it's my turn to identify with another parent, I too struggled.
But I was quickly taken in by the following statement...

"When you boil grief down to it's very essence, you find loneliness."

I paused (as I'm sure you are doing now) and had to think for a moment, then knowingly with a pained half smile and knowing frown, nodded in agreement.  That's it.  Whenever I've grieved deeply I've fought loneliness too.  It's hard not to think of yourself as all alone in those moments. , as the only person who has ever dealt with ________. 
There may have been people who have tried to enter that world or maybe there were not.  Either way extreme loneliness is a form of suffering. 
Nancy understands suffering as you will hear when you listen to her talk.  Not only does she know suffering, but she speaks of God's plan in it.  She shows how to think like Jesus does about disability.  It was refreshing to stop seeing with others' eyes of pity, my own of puzzled pain; but of Jesus'.  I've been to many conferences and read countless books on disability, but I didn't know how much my savior and this words for me in the Bible spoke directly to disability.  

I've never heard so much about what He says about disability!  It was beautiful!
if you haven't taken the time to watch the conference, I'd highly recommend it. It's up at the above link.

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