Sunday, October 21, 2012

I hope you dance... not what I had in mind


I got this stuck in my head about five or six years ago when we wondered if Abby would walk... let alone dance.  I wondered if we should pray for walking or if I'd be too upset if she didn't and maybe we needed keep that prayer private?  It's not like broadcasting it would make people wonder if we'd ever sought the Lord on the matter as if that's all there was to it, but somehow it was easier to hear God's "no" in private than have to live it out with the world watching.  We kept our prayers to ourselves as we often do now, but then again I sometimes think letting someone, somewhere know the desires of our hearts make that "yes" answer and the "no" answer all the more sweet?  Still don't think I'll be posting those anytime soon, though :)

I was running today, as I've been doing now for over a month now because I need to be healthier physically and mentally.  I had a beloved doctor admonish me in an underhanded way several years ago when I went to him after having my third baby.  I told him I wasn't right and was wondering if I needed something.  He said he'd be happy to give me something after I tried exercising first.  I felt a bit irritated as it took some coaxing to get me to a place where I admitted I was struggling, but somewhere I knew he was right.  (I'm not saying that drugs are never necessary because if you've read my other posts you know there has been a place where I did need meds for a season). 

Back to the run...
I was pushing Abby in a special needs jogger! Yes, you heard me right... I have a jogger for Abby and it turns out she is the best motivation to run because whenever I start speeding up she sings and claps!!!  Who needs a trainer when you have that?!!  I'm on a tangent again, I know!  I had music playing on my phone and "I Hope You Dance" came on and I remembered that prayer long ago.  No, she doesn't dance in the sense that most people dance, but as I peered over the stroller her hands were in the air and twirling in circles.  We've always referred to that motion as her "Happy Dance." 

She does dance :)
Not in the way I thought I was asking for, but in her own way. 
How many times do we pray for something and it gets answered, but we miss it because it wasn't answered in the way we wanted it to be?  We forget that a "no" or "not yet" response is still an answer.  Just because it isn't "yes" in the perfect way I've mapped out for the God of the universe to answer my prayer, doesn't mean He's silent.  Maybe His own way is a much better way because He's big like that :) 
Kind of funny how His ways are better than mine, right? 

Here's her dance... The little hand twirling is "her dance"

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