Friday, April 22, 2011

Rock Hill

Our tears will be the evidence that we've given our hearts fully because now they're breaking...

I'm writing in hope that the tears will stop by Sunday... 10:00 am, church time :)  A year ago we were gearing up for our first Sunday, Easter Sunday, in our new church building.  This year we are saying goodbye.  It will be our last Sunday as members of Rock Hill as they will be sending us out as Arise, a new church plant in Esko.  

After months of planning, preparing, meeting and praying... it's time to begin.  We've always been pretty good at saying goodbye because goodbye has always been in the plan.  I've never been anywhere that I didn't feel I would leave.  I've kept those bonds at arms length to make sure I could walk away with my pride.  We seem to have change in our bones.  

Today I'm longing for some boring, steadfast... staying.  I know it is a fleeting emotional state due to all the disarray in our lives already, but as I gear up to move on, my heavy heart hurts.  

It doesn't hurt because it's wrong, but because Rock Hill is where we've learned how to love and to be loved.  We've learned that our lives are a work in progress and we're not created to do life alone.  Our "spiritual walk" isn't just about me, "party of one"; but about the whole body of Christ together.  Together we're supposed to be a reflection of Christ.  Alone, I can't do that.  We've learned that the church isn't a group of superhuman people who never do anything wrong or never act hypocritically; but we've learned how to love them anyway and have asked the same of them in return.  We extend grace far less than it's extended to us, for that I am sure.  We're family.  Family may drive us nuts, but those bonds are forever... unbreakable.  We're all a work in progress.  We don't put on our fancy church clothes or fake faces on Sundays, but we share our ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly because we know that if the gospel of Jesus Christ can transform our messed up lives, it can change anyone else's too.  

That kind of power compels us to share it.  We've had a taste... a glimpse of what Heaven is, so we must share it.  The book Total Church allowed us to see that church isn't an event we attend or a fast food restaurant we pull into on Sunday morning and get what we need, only to pull out until we feel the need again.  It's entirely who we are!  We've been so inspired by living the love in community with other believers that it must be reproduced.  We're excited about the lives that have already been changed in Esko, and we are energized to be a part of His work there; but tearing apart from that family is painful.  

If we didn't cry... If we didn't feel anything... we didn't get it and couldn't do it again.  Our tears make our efforts and lives real.  We set out to be family and saying goodbye to family isn't easy.  Our tears are real.  We didn't just show love, but we loved.  

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