I've always marveled at people who can just sit and listen and take things in without saying much. I'm usually one to jump in and put my two cents in, even if my words aren't worth two cents. I've wondered if I'd ever get to the point when I won't think I have all the answers or need to give my opinion on everything. I guess I'm getting closer to realizing how much I waste my breath. Advice unsought is at best ignored and unused for the most part.
What I do speaks volumes more than what I say.
I may have opinions about a lot of things (okay I have an opinion about pretty much everything), but they're just that... opinions. I often think I have a better way of doing things, but am slowly learning that my ways aren't always the only way or even the best for that matter.
So that's where I am today. Quietly taking in life around me. I'm sure there will still be days when I run my mouth, but I'm hoping there will be more where I don't. Maybe it will make me somewhat boring, but I'm hoping it will make me less overbearing and self absorbed. I didn't realize how pompous I can come across if I'm not careful. I don't think that highly of myself, but I sure do often portray that picture.
I used to be slightly annoyed when I talked to some older people and they wouldn't really comment, but rather get a funny grin on their face as if to say, "you just don't get it." I see moms that are in similar situations as I've been starting out with kids with disabilities and trying to change the world. Although I admire bulldogs because it is that attitude that gets things done, I find myself with that funny grin that says, "Just wait." I understand one's vigor at changing the world, but starting by changing those around you first is a big step.
We were part of a parenting seminar at our church this morning and took a lot more than just parenting tips from it. It was a lesson on people and interacting for me. Having all the answers was no longer my goal. To be open to help or assist other families is what I'm all about. I'm not going to give seminars about parenting, but I do want to be involved in the lives of families around me. Maybe I'll be more of a people watcher and think more before I speak. I'll think more about the ones I'm speaking to and less about saying the right or wrong thing. Maybe they'll feel my heart more than hear my words. Maybe they'll see that I speak in love for them rather than love for myself.
I'm unaccustomed to sitting on the sidelines. I've always been in the game. I'm not retiring by any means, but my role is changing. My place isn't front and center on the field, but being willing to guide the ones who are in the game.
Sometimes I just need to encourage and cheer on those who are out there stumbling around.
Sometimes I'll be called in to help the wounded off the field.
Sometimes I'll be the one to call the plays, but
Mostly, I'll be the one to put my arm around the shoulders of one of my players and speak to them about the game of life. I'll let them know that they will make it. That they will fail at times, but they also will win. I've been there. I don't want to waste my life and experiences on the beaches in FL or AZ, but redeem the battle scars I bear for God's glory to help someone else get back into the game after being injured.
May I always continue to grow (that means experience the pains of growing).
May I give more than I take.
And may I spend more time investing what I've been given than flushing it down the toilet.
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