Ken & Barbie

When my sister started dating her husband, Mark, we (and many others) often referred to them as Ken and Barbie because they were so cute :)  When Andy and I moved to SC and began to get involved in a church we were often called it too.  At the time I took it as a badge of honor, "The perfect couple".  Our lives did look pretty good, and to be honest it was pretty smooth sailing. We didn't have the horror stories of some  newlyweds.  We really like each other.  We had an adorable new house.  It would be considered quite fancy for a young couple.  I had a teaching job I loved and Andy was a rare first year salesman at a large trucking company.  We had it pretty easy. 

I'm doing a Beth Moore study online with a group of friends on facebook about the book of Esther, and it appears to be written just for me.  I watch the videos and squirm as I wonder how she could be so specfic about my life when she's never even met me?  Now that's evidently the "knock-your-socks-off" God I serve!!!!  Get these lines just from today's study:

"Esther's superficial life was about to be shattered, and a woman much deeper than her skin was about to be unearthed."
"Strength comes from muscle, and muscle develops with a workout."
"We are not the fragile flower we've considered ourselves to be.  We, like Esther, are the warrior princesses of God."

The person I was before Abby much resembled Barbie.  I worked hard perfecting that image of having it all together.  Then I got pregnant.  I went from the admiration of others to the recipient of their pity, and I hated it.  I just wanted to be seen as a mom with a baby rather than that "half -smile, sorry head tilt" look I kept getting.  I've loved my Abby from the moment I knew she was growing inside me.  I adored the girl from the moment I held her tiny hand in mine.  I mourn the girl I wanted her to be, yet am overcome by the reality of being chosen to be the mom of this young lady child she is becomming.  I'll continue to quote from my study, so you can be as floored with its application as I am:

"When our destiny comes, we often expect for it to feel different... to be different"
"It's tough being a woman thrown a giant sized weight"
"There is human dilema in destiny"
"Destiny appoints one, but affects many... your destiny will always involve a group of people"
"The revelation of a person's destiny always demands a revelation of the person."
"One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny will be transparency"
"God is just as purposeful in what He doesn't say as much as what He does... He never hangs a veil accidentily"
"Who Knows... whether you have come... for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14b)
"We are about to have the oppotunity to test how much we belive God about who we are and the positions we hold"

He's planning to "work out" His destiny in me.  It feels more like an intense "Biggest Loser" sort of camp, but all the same... Who knows
...so
here's me
working it out
trying to be transparent
ending up a bit more opaque
because...

I'm a work in progress

"When my God comes to take me home I don't want to be wandering in the wilderness, but rather finishing the race in my Canaan, the promised land."