holding my breath...

This is one of those moments that takes my breath away... she's laughing.  Not the scary, "are you high" laugh, but a real true belly giggle and hearty laugh.  Okay, I don't exactly know what caused it other than Daddy and the banging cupboards perhaps, but whatever it was I thoroughly enjoyed this evening.  We had a good day.  Come to think of it we've had a couple good days.  I hate to jinx it by saying it aloud, but it's fine to bask in the laughter and lack of full blown angry attacks.  She still attacks, but when she flashed her beautiful huge toothy smile, laboriously climbed up next to me on the couch and kissed me after a series of high fives I almost didn't mind the handful of hair she pulled out.  I'll take a bit of bad as long as it accompanies more of the good.  

I'm not a fan of drugs (for her... not talking about me or Andy-LOL), but if the latest one we started about a week ago is to credit with more contentment than discontentment... PTL!  I don't really pay much attention to the drugs anymore because I'm never looking for the magic pill, but usually finding a way to prove that she shouldn't be on one of them.  When it does work I'm surprised.  They're not magic, but there's been a noticeable change in her.  Even a baby step is to be celebrated.  Now, if we can just get her to stop pulling hair and pinching we'd be doing cartwheels (that would be something to see)!

I stopped holding my breath waiting for all crazy to break loose and decided to enjoy the moment.  I know how fleeting these times can be, so here I sit just watching her play quietly alone with a smile that continues to reappear across her face.  She bursts into giggles and so do I.  I can't help but giggle back.  What a crazy roller coaster ride with Abby as the conductor!