Friday, March 15, 2013

Because He Lives

"Because He lives I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth a living
just because He lives..." (Gaithers)

Before my grandpa died he and my grandma would sing this pretty much every time I saw them.  I would always tear as I thought of the physical pain of dying of cancer and the emotional pain my grandma carried as she watched the man she shared almost sixty-four years with slowly leave this earth.  If she wasn't sending him ahead to Heaven where she was sure to join him, I have no idea how she would've reconciled her life here without Him.

Even though it was tough to watch my grandpa die, there was a deep love for him that kept me coming back whenever I could.  There was a need to make sure he had that peace that passes all understanding and see someone I knew walk home in that hope.  It was those moments, that day before he passed, where I needed to see him at peace.  I believe in that peace that gets me through my days, yet I seriously wanted... needed... to see him take hold of his.  It was a beautiful thing to watch.  Heartbreaking in so many ways for us as he slowly left, but comforting to share that deep peace inside knowing this wasn't the end.  A solid assurance that this day will eventually lead to a reuniting with those who've died with Christ.

I think of Grandpa now when I hear that song. I think of his last days and smile because I was able to be here and do them together with the him.  I had been away for a decade and really easily could've missed it all.  It's not that I had to be here, but I got that chance to be, for which I am very fortunate.

I was thinking of grandpa when the song came on somewhere this week and I heard the words differently this time.  How fitting for all of us to live differently because our God isn't dead.  No matter what the future holds, I know He holds my future.  I can so often get wrapped up in the monotony of my days that I miss the hope.  I fight to keep the focus off of me as it could consume me and no one would really blame me, but I know I was made for so much more.  The more I pour out the more content I am.  I have to be poured out to be filled up again.

I've had the heartbreak of watching several women around me as they've faced the dark sides of this life.  A few have unraveled an another has grown.  They have indeed gone through tough stuff, but their stories are not original.  Many before them have suffered and many will come after who will suffer... some more, others less.  One gal has become so self absorbed that she can't see outside herself.  It's awful to watch as she seems to exist in utter blindness as she continues to go deeper and deeper into the sadness portion which has been part of her life.  She falls further and further into a deeper, suffocating darkness.  Each day she believes the lies in her head that have grown her circumstances into things they are not, yet she falls deeper and deeper.  Now not only do her eyes not see, but her ears have become deaf to wise counsel.  She speaks and no longer listens.  The lies grow like an cancer inside her overtaking the good memories that once lived there too.

Have you ever watched a woman who fears the Lord suffer?  I've been blessed by watching one who is dear to my heart.  It is not fake.  She does have days that overwhelm and consume her as the fears creep in, but they are always followed by days of truth and hope.  I've had a front row seat to watching her find her strength in a big God who is faithful despite her circumstances.

The older I get the more I see this one life I've been given.  Death statistics are astounding... 100% of all men... die.  I get to take part in the lives around me or I can get so wrapped up in my own?  I can only give as much as I know I can handle, or I can pour out and be confident of the one who is capable of  filling me back up... to be poured out again.  Because I know that I only truly live

Death raises one's awareness of life.
 I enjoy the glass of wine with new friends in an overwhelming sense of blessedness.
 I leave my robe on and lower my expectations of today as my big girl is home sick for the third day this week.
 I'm striving to fulfill the call on my life.
These are the truths I cling to when the voices around me are discouraging.
I chose to keep moving forward.

1 comment:

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