Wednesday, January 23, 2013

"What's Mine... Is Yours"

This week marks one year since we lost baby... #4.  The emotions surprisingly overwhelmed me more than once today.  I wanted to talk, but the words just stopped in my throat.  I don't know what I would've wanted to say if I had the chance.  I planned a fun outing with the girls.  They're too young to share my grief today, yet I wanted to find a way to remember.  I held so many conflicting emotions that I found myself so overcome with the sadness of today as well as the wonder of the Lord's many undeserved blessings.  Once again I experienced joy in the midst of my silent sadness.  How He does that boggles my mind over and over again.  I'm so grateful for the ability to share so many emotions all at the same time.  I'm glad that they don't exist in waves isolated from each other, but rather in conjunction with one another.  Complete joy in the midst of suffering.

I tossed and turned last night in restless sleep as a little boy dominated my dreams...
I wanted him in my arms, at our dinner table and running around the house with his sisters...
I found this video posted to a friend's facebook page today and found it expresses my heart better than my words today...

"What's Mine... Is Yours" by Katherine Nelson


1 comment:

  1. Few of us can understand the grief and pain. What more can be said...

    ReplyDelete

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