Saturday, December 26, 2009

Things Change

It seems like yesterday when I was feeling so overwhelmed with my three girls. There are times where they can be a handful, but after adding the other two and having essentially 4 under 2 my three aren't all that bad. I sat with 4 out of 5 as Andy had to take Abby to the ER because she was flipping out with not being able to breath... kind of a big deal. She woke up angry this morning and went from bad to worse as the day progressed. She even took two naps because the lack of oxygen and all the flailing wore her slap out. Andy had to wrestle her down for the first breathing treatment as the family gathered for our Christmas. I'm not sure who one that round, but either way Andy was beat up and Abby was asleep (thanks to drugs). She woke up just as everyone was leaving, and she was okay. She even sat on my lap and loved for a bit, but it was short lived as she started to attack me. She does this when she can't breath. She must get scared and frustrated so she attacks until I get the mask on. In the past she would flip out, but settle immediately after the nebulizer started, but that hasn't been the case lately. She seems to get mad, but is unable to bring it back around when the airways open up. Well, this one was like old times and I not only got to love on her during the 20 minutes, but she fell asleep again and took a nap on my lap.

When she woke up this time she was ready to fight. Andy took her downtown for some more meds and I found myself alone with the other 4. Usually I'm not so happy about this, but it was surprising how easy they seemed when Abby left. I was relieved that she was gone. I did still call for reinforcements and grandpa came to the rescue, but I wasn't near as panicked as I can be when left alone without a back-up. It's amazing how just having Abby comfortably contained (out) made such a difference. It's been so crazy whenever she's been here lately as she takes so much one-on-one (way more than the other babies) that she wears me out. Not only does she need so much as the others do, but having to keep her from pulling or pinching is exhausting.

I made the mistake of not having the babies all in bed by the time Andy came home with Abby, and having grandpa here proved to be a desperate lifeline. From the time she came in the door (or from the pharmacy home Andy reported later) she was in high gear crazy. Grandpa got her up the stairs to her bed while I gathered meds and moved the nebs up. By the time Andy got up to the room she was in a figure eight lock down (and I don't even wrestle). It took two of us to stabilize her to give her treatment. We were doing pretty good as I had her head so she wouldn't knock off the mask or bite me (again) and Andy was holding her arms. She is the most flexible child due to her lack of muscle. She right hooked Andy square in the head- with her foot! Amazing! It's not like we're new, but still it impressed both of us. Hopefully she'll last the night since Ray shares a room with her and a middle of the night treatment could be traumatic for more than just us.

Pray the prednisone does its job- quickly because another trip to the ER or a stay in the hospital would be worse on all of us. I know I'm being dramatic because there are plenty of kids who spend far more time in the hospital than we ever have, but any time spent there stays etched in ones mind... not pleasant. I still have nightmares of the time we were there when the night nurse signed off on giving Abby her nightime meds (a must in order to sleep), but didn't actually give them. It was a night to remember... a lot of crying and screaming... from her and us.

I daydream about sleeping. I often wake up in the morning figuring my day to include a nap (in theory only) just to coax myself out of bed. I keep thinking my body will start requiring less sleep, but it doesn't. Not only do I not get to sleep through the night very often, but now I've added trouble falling asleep to my repertoire. Not really a big deal, I know, just some whining tonight. Speaking of wine... goodnight :)


  1. soo... maybe you're over-doing it. you sound completely fried. This may sound awful(and i don't mean it to) but perhaps it might be best for your health to see if the 2 foster kids could move to another home? i'm worried about you.

  2. i coax myself out of bed with thoughts of an afternoon nap often! emery has started sleeping twelve hours at night again, so that's helping. the fosters are in respite this weekend, so we are unwinding and relaxing. or trying to. you know how that goes. praying for you!


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