Sunday, November 15, 2009

Can I love like that?

Every now and then I find myself obsessing over things that are totally out of my control. I've been so wrapped up with some pseudo friends and their obvious dislike or indifference to us that I focus on them rather than all the true wonderful friends in our lives. I consider myself pretty easy as far as friendships go. I don't expect a whole lot because I generally don't have a great deal of extra time and energy to put in either. Maybe that makes me a not- so- great friend, but it also means I don't have a lot of expectations either. I think it's a decent trade off, but I suppose some would disagree. It's not the friends who try to get together or call too much that I'm referring to, but those who simply snub for the most part. It's kind of funny that I'm writing this because I'm generally not the too sensitive one (I'm not easily offended), but that's why I'm so disturbed. I've gone out of my way to be a good friend, but friendship is not returned at all. We're so not high maintenence, but that's not the point I don't think. We're called to love people, but some make it so hard to love. It would be easy to just walk away, but we're called to love and walking away isn't loving. Of course we're doing a study of Ed Stetzer's called "Compelled by Love" in our missional community (small group) so I keep trying because I'm called to rather than want to. It is so less painful not to love, but Christ love compels us to love even the unloveable.

I guess it's more personal for me too. I don't like to not be liked, but then again who really does? many say they don't care, but I'm inclined not to believe them entirely. I kind of thought I was one of those people who didn't care, but I've been convicted of my lack of love for people. In working on loving others through the love of Christ in me, and I'm actually really loving people regardless if they deserve it or not. I don't deserve Christ's love for me, but He gives it anyway so I cannot help but love. this kind of love... really loving... hurts when its rejected. I really put myself out there because I not only care, but I truly love and that love not reciprocated is tough.

Loving people the way I love
my family is a stretch for me, but His love flowing through me makes me love in a way I can't describe. I care... not just because I'm supposed to, but because He changes my heart and it is real. This is sticky love. This is putting your heart out there love... knowing how vulnerable it is, yet doing it anyway. I only have loved my family because they've earned my love by being worthy of my heart. I trust them completely not to trample on that, but that is more than I can say for the world... and the body of Christ. This kind of love is going to be tough... tougher than I thought when I asked Him to teach me how to love like He does.

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