Wednesday, January 7, 2009

changing directions

Have you ever found yourself very uncomfortable with a change in mission? Not just north or south, although I've done that transition too, but felt you were headed toward one destination when you find yourself arguing with God on the turnabout? It's hard not to questions where you were headed and lable it "wrong way" when it prematurely marks the end of an era. Was it ever a valid goal when I feel it was cut short or could it be that I took God's direction further than he intended it to go? Or still yet could it be that I didn't fulfill what He intended me to in a reasonable time frame so He moved my cheese? I suppose the latter could be true, but it's still possible that my intent was light years from His. I'm glad that "His ways are higher than mine." I have a sense of excitement about new adventures, yet I mourn the loss of the dream I had for my unfulfilled destination. Maybe He's put those dreams on hold for now or maybe He's got me on a different route to ultimately get me to where I was originally going.

I find these sudden and unexpected changes in my journey discourage me from goal setting in general... at least temporarily. I wonder about my goals. Should I have long range goals? I say yes, but it is best to leave room for daily detours as my less than godly ideas may have overtaken His greater purposes. I can get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent and lose total sight of the bigger picture for which I've been called. I'm willing to go, but am I willing to be silent long enough to hear where? Do I get so caught up in my own dreams that I bypass His as if I think I have a better corner on any market? When the Lord gives me a new burden I have to answer His call or clear my schedule to input His. Why couldn't I just start off with a clear schedule waiting for his masterful filling?

The change inevitably brings a void of mission and purpose as well as a reminder of my inadequacies to embark on something new without His help? Once again I am reminded of my dependance on Him to do "God sized" missions. Just when I get so comfortable in the set of shoes he molded me in, He ups the anty and I find myself mourning the floppy, floundering misfit I regress to once again. Pride no doubt threatens to paralyze and convince me to stay put. He often pulls me along kicking and screaming, yet just as I'm following (albeit not as joyful as I should be) He blesses me anyway... "above and beyond what I can ask or imagine."

Ohhh! How I'm thankful and blessed that my ways don't hinder His or that He's not tied to my willfully stupid flesh. His plan is accomplished with or without me, but I intend to live this life to the end with as much joy and blessing as He chooses to give. Therefore, I follow submitting my body to His beckon call. I chant my mantra once again to remind myself: "Yes, Lord... to anything you ask of me, anytime anywhere."

1 comment:

  1. Always worth my time...always worth it...

    ReplyDelete

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